How to make comparisons painless

 Introduction

Do you ever experience mental distress from being compared to others? For example, what is your dignity, whether you are popular or not, your family's financial strength, the education you received, your sense of values, your test scores, your grades, your work performance in numbers, your educational background, where you went to college, etc. We have been compared to others since childhood.

We have been subjected to many comparisons since childhood. Comparisons are essential when deciding things. This is because we have to decide which product or value is higher or lower, more or less efficient, or has advantages or disadvantages.

Comparison is a choice. By now I am getting tired of being the subject of comparisons too. But I have no choice. Without comparison, we cannot make accurate judgments. Therefore, I have thought about what we need to do to prepare ourselves and act in order not to feel the pain of being compared.

These are only my opinions and suggestions. I hope you will find them useful.

For those of you who suffer from comparison to others: 5 tips to ease your mind

How to deal with being compared to others

First: Use others as a textbook.

Because, for example, if someone does something that makes you feel bad about yourself, you can use that person as a lesson to live your life and never behave like that to others.

I have an experience. I saw a person who saw a bag fall on the floor, but did not show any intention to pick it up. I think to myself, "How are the parents educated? How are the parents being educated? That's the first question that comes to my mind. Why aren't they picking it up? What have they learned? Why don't they do what is natural for a human being? These are the questions that I often ask myself.

Back to my point, I find it less painful to look at these people as role models and compare them to me. Besides, it also makes me feel that I am better than the person who acted that way.

Second: Compare yourself to your past.

Because, for example, have you ever felt frustrated when you didn't do well on a previous test and resolved to do better next time? Your past self can actually be a textbook for personal growth. The important thing to note here is that you should always try to surpass your past self. I have an experience. That is, I was not action-oriented before, but I decided to compare myself with my past self, thinking "I want to start something new and become someone who is light on footwork, someone who can be action-oriented and do what needs to be done well. It might be easier than comparing myself to others, because there are so many others out there. Because there are so many others and it is difficult to define what kind of person I want to be.

One of my favorite historical figures in world history is a man named Mr. Sun. He created a book called Sun's Art of War, which is now read in business. There is a phrase in the book that I would like to share with you. It is "If you know him and know yourself, you will not be in danger of a hundred choices. He is not only the enemy in front of you, but also your rivals around you. It means that if you analyze the enemy and yourself and take countermeasures, you will not have to worry about losing. It is also important to try to understand the situation and background of others when comparing yourself with others, in order to avoid unnecessary pain.

Third: Compare sometimes to the point of depression.

Here is an unsuitable way to make comparison painless.

Because we are constantly being compared to someone else every day. It is difficult to grow without comparison. This is because comparison is the gasoline that makes us try to grow ourselves. Just as the status quo is the beginning of decline, if there is no gasoline to make you grow, you will decline. Having a moderate sense of crisis stimulates the desire to grow without settling for the status quo. For this reason, we believe that it is necessary to compare so much that we become depressed. Remember, however, that too much depression can undermine your sense of self-esteem.

Fourth, don't be a perfectionist.

What are you trying to perfect? Are you doing enough to be perfect? Are you doing it without skipping a beat? I don't think perfectionism exists. I think it is someone who is trying to be perfect. It is very tiring to try to be a perfectionist when you can't even be a perfectionist.

Fifth, save your strength for when it comes.

Here are some ways to do this when you first meet someone. You don't have to go all out from the start to get them to like you. In fact, you will end up being the textbook. On the other hand, if someone doesn't like this way of doing things, try to understand beforehand that you are the kind of person who has this kind of personality and try to relate to people. Preserving your power for when it comes means preserving the power of how you respond when you and others are compared. If you are in an inferior position, take it seriously and improve. Focus only on improving. To not feel pain. Be careful here: be calm, not emotional.　

To summarize what I have said so far, we should look at other people as role models and use them as a reminder to ourselves. Compare yourself with your past and correct what needs to be corrected. Life without comparison is lukewarm, so we sometimes compare ourselves to the point of depression. However, do not take them too seriously. Taking it too seriously can lead to unhappiness. Abandon perfectionism. We can only judge what has been done and what has not been done. It narrows our perspective. Save your strength for the time to come.

I have explained how I respond in a life of comparison.

One of those days when I feel like I'm about to get distracted and I can't wait for my shift to start working part-time p7 (diary)

Sunday, April 27

Complete manual mastery

Today was my seventh day and sixth time working as a cashier. This time, although I did not accomplish anything remarkable, I had not yet received any explanations that I did not already know, so I decided to learn them by listening to the explanations. I really wanted to work the cash register, but the clerk in charge of the cash register was an operation I needed to know, so I pushed aside my desire to work the cash register by myself and concentrated on listening to the explanation.

I was able to learn smoothly because I was used to working at a cash register and had read the manual in advance.

Because there was a lot of explanation this time, I was not able to reach the number of customers I wanted to serve, but I am glad I persevered because the content was really important.

What I learned: I learned how to operate to return all or part of an item, and how to cancel an operation when I typed the wrong price.

The close call: I was so obsessed with the number of customers I was serving that I almost lost track of the explanations. I had the desire to go back to my cash register and continue serving customers. I am getting very used to it, but there are still areas where I falter.

For example, when there are a lot of customers in line and I get impatient, I tend to be sloppy and sloppy in checking items through the register.

I think I have said that both quality and quantity are important for my growth, but I have become impatient because I think that if I want to ensure quality, I have to ensure a lot of quantity as well.

I also became impatient and my voice became quiet, making it difficult for customers to hear me. However, I think I did what I could do at that time.

If someone asked me if I wanted to go back in a time machine and start over, I would say, "I did everything I could at the time, so there was no need to go back and start over. I was that confident.

Even with the mistakes I made, I am enjoying my time at my current part-time job because it is so fulfilling.

PS: I got a cup of coffee from a senior colleague who mentored me. I am grateful.

Monday, April 28

My real pleasure now

Today I went shopping at the supermarket where I work part-time.

When I saw the cash register, I felt like I wanted to do it too. I don't know why, but I think I can figure it out somehow. I guess it's because I really enjoy working with the older workers and working the cash register.

I can't wait for Wednesday, but Wednesday will come soon. I don't want to say so, because then they will complain that the time is taking too long.

What I can do is to ask for more time for my part-time job, or I can move faster and make the most of the day within the limited time I have. I always want to say thank you to the senior part-timers for their hard work until late at night.

Byte p. 6 (Diary) My Great Revolution

 

Saturday, April 26,

The Great Development of Cashiering Skills

Today was my sixth day of work and my fifth time as a cashier. Last time, I made a humiliating mistake against myself and felt bad that it was time for my next part-time job.

I was told that the mistake was that I was too eager and did not do as I was taught, and I felt sorry and wanted to leave early at the same time. However, I thought that if I couldn't reflect on the mistake and move on to the next one, I wouldn't be able to grow in any way, so I decided to somehow do my best for the customer.

And now, on this sixth day, I have organized my feelings and decided not to make the same mistakes as in the past, and headed for my place of employment. This time, I am beginning to think that I am very good at what I do.

I used to serve 100 customers in 5 hours. Until now, I had served around 30 to 40 customers. But this time, 100 customers. It was an opportunity for me to feel that I was growing so much.

When I analyzed why I had grown so much, I realized that I had promised myself not to repeat the mistakes of the past, that I could not change the past, and that the only person who could change the future was me, and that I was determined to make the best of the present.

Improvement is seen as common sense for those who work in society, and I was able to do it this time. My speed at the cash register, my skill at organizing items in my basket, and my customer service skills have improved. I still make small mistakes, but they are much less frequent and I am able to be calm and not nervous with customers.

As a postscript, a boy of kindergarten age came shopping with his father and was buying sweets. I was in charge of serving him at the cash register, and I felt a small happiness during my shift.

That small happiness was when he waved bye-bye to me and hung up when the checkout was over. He also shook my hand and cheered me up.

I think that feeling of small happiness made it easier for me to recover from the embarrassing mistake I made last time and motivated me to move forward. It was the first time in a long time that I felt my children were precious to me. I want to say thank you for supporting my heart at that time. I think I met an angel.

I am glad that I could smile more this time. I had a good day because I make my part-time job part of the fun of my life.

Next, I have to be careful: Even though the number of customers and skills are increasing, we must not get too caught up in the numbers. If we get too caught up in the numbers, the quality will suffer. This was true in my studies.

What I value is both quality and quantity. While doing the quantity, carefully improve the quality within the quantity. I place emphasis on quality as a natural condition for doing quantity. I know it is difficult for only me to convey this, but I believe that quality and quantity are a double-edged sword.

I would like to reflect on what I have done so far and grow more greedily.